this year has been of the toughest yet!, comin from living in different appts just to stay happy, to havin an ex try to ruin my relationship! friends and family coming and goin..its crazzy!!! but in the end things went from bad to good now that the year is ending..only menaing one thing...it will start off good 2009!
jan 2008 was actaully a good month..my bf came from north carolina to visit me for xmas and new years but ended up surprising me by stayin for good in new york. i was soooooo happy!!! things started off fresh and new and perfect!! he stood in my house when my mom was away in ecuador for 2 months! she knew he was stayin but didnt kno we were stayin in her room and sleepin in her bed...but that was the only room available! she comes around in teh middle of february, hnery had to leav cuz there wasnt any room! with 7 ppl living in a hose with 4 rooms only! other ppl needed their privacy also..but anyhow he ended up livin with his best friend manny ..who lived a couple of train stops away from me...everyday henry would come see me..and i would also go see him. we couldnt stay apart from eachother so i ended up living wit him in mannys house. we slept in a full size bed in the living room since they only had one room...it was good u kno i felt good...my sisters would come visit me from time to time which was very nice cause i had missed them so much!
so its the midle of feb and im startin not to feel good, i start actin up for no reason, i couldnt sleep, and plus i had pain in my body! one day i go to the doctor to just check myself! next thing u kno the doctor tells me im pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!! me or henry couldnt believe it!!!! i mean we were havin sex like 5 times a day everyday..lol.but still! i thought it wasnt goin to be easy for me to have kids...but i was totally wrong..hehe....i remember this day like if it wa yesterday!..it was feb 25th the doctor says if u wanna make sure go again to the ob gyn office tomorro..so we did that and it came out positive again!!! we were so happy!! and fell in love all over again , even though he came in the end of dec so it was pretty fast!
march came we were still living in his house...all of a sudden i had an atlercation with mannys wife...i forget wut it was about but i left..and henry left wit me...we couldnt go back to my moms house so we went to my uncles house on 49 street 9th ave. he had an extra room since my granda moved out...so it was good.. the only ting he had though was a twin sized bed..but we fit.lol.. days go by and henry gets a job at a deli 2 blocks away...he worked and i stayed hom cookin and cleaning. it was good u knoo next thing u kno april comes....i have an appt in the bx april 2nd....i go for a sonogram..for them to tell me that i had nothin in my sac..which meant my baby wasnt developed...i ended up havin a painful misscarriage april 21st...a day we will never forget. i took a picture of the baby and everythin i still have it in my inbox..for some reason henry blaims himslef till this day...and i refuse to let him think that way! he is crazy ! misscarriages happen!! and mostly when u are pregnant for the first time!..me and my 2 sisters had miscarriages! its crazy but true!
may comes...henry has another job workin for a company that cleans =\..he was gettin paid very good 800 -900 weekly..we were invited to a party thrown for his job,,which my mom and my bro also worked for...so we go to the party and we get so drunk that next thing u kno we are both fightin with a bouncer who is twice our size! the sotry was that he was tryin to throw us out becuz we were underaged...and he gave us till 12 to leave so we were leavin until he was like literaly pushing us out! henry dint like the way this guy was touchin me so he was defendin me like nay bf would but not to the extent to get their ass kicked..lol..but henry was drunnk so he didnt really control how he was acting..next thing you kno they start fightin!!!! my mom brother sister everyone was there...and i remember cryin!! i saw the bouncer had henrys head slammed to the floor so that was my chance to punch this nigga in the fae!! i punched him 3 times ! and thats when he let go of henry and pushed to me to the ground!! henry saw that and charged at teh guy again!!! the cops came and areested the bastard and me and henry ended up goin to the nearest hospital to get checked!!..he had a big bruise on the side of his head from when the bouncer scrapped his head on the floor, and he also had a minor cut on his lip, i had a big ass bruise on my arm when he grabbed me and threw me, and cuts on my knees when i hit the ground and bruises on my feet from the shoues that i was wearing! it was crazy!! my mom was wit us throughout the whole time! we ended up leavin the hospital at 4 in the morning!..o yea i like to add that i threw up on henrys jacket..hehe!!
june, july, august, summer time begins and we just go out!! beach, parties, clubs, u name it we did it!...but at one point everythin just went down the drain....henry began to drink a whole lot more than usual and things started to change...well we ended up living back at my moms cuz 3 ppl moved out..me and henry went through alot~~ to the poiint wheere i would try to kick him out the house, try callin the cops on him , we would get physical with eacother, we would boith cry ...it was tough! he actaully left on day but then came home wit his cuzin manny at 5 am to look for me! which was sweet cuz he told me that he couldnt stand bein away from me...=\ but things didnt get better!...well his b-day came up august 13th we threw a party for him which was cool...but we were drunk once again and began to fight..this time i didnt remember y we fought but we did... then couple of days laer he began to drink again with his work buddies and not come home tilll the next afternoon!!! ive had it wit him! so one day i was invited to a party in brooklyn so i went wit my cuzin i had fun i saw some of my high school friends there mostly guys..and danced and have fun! without tellin henry anytin! he didnt come home at all form drinkin with his "bois" so i didnt get home until 5 am!!! there was henry waiting for me on my stoop...it was an emotional morning...we just slept on it..after that things have changed..he had stopped srinkin , stopped hangin out wit his friends, and paid more attention to our relationship..he htought iw as playin whenh i said i can have twice more fun! which i did...he saw pictures and saw how much fun i had withouht him and he got upset =\...i just wanted to teach him a lesson!
sept comes its my bday! had fun as always , we partied it up! had alot of ppl there! drank no fightin no problems!!!!
october comes!!! everything is fine me and henry and the fam are all gettin along great!!! ...me and henry were tryin to get pregnant again =]...nex thing you kno we go to the office i think it was oct 21 i belive...and the nurse tells me im pregoo!!! i was only one week late but henry insitsted i go check!! him and my friend yasmine came wit me and heard the great news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
november and december here we are..november 26-30 we went to north carolina to visit my inlaws..henrys family! it was a great mini vacation!! but we spend thanksgiving wit them and it was so uch fun!!! even thought i met his whole family at a funeral =\ i havent met his siblings.. his rother luis and his 2 sister dee and jazmine! form the moment i stepped foot inthat house i got a huge hug and kiss form jazmine and dee!! i felt so loved!!!!...lol...his mother , chris and his bro luis came to pick us up in the station and we immediatley said hi and hugged eachoter!! luis was like you look so much prettier in person!..lol..i was like thankkss!! and u look more like ur brother in preson!!hahah!! we had our laughs it was great!!!..we went to ihop, bowling and talked about how me and henry met!..it was such a story that had everyone laughin!..o yea i also felt good when they found a pic of them and chrisitn(the ex) adn ripped it up and threw in the garbage..ha everyone was like throw taht shit out, henry was just like get that shit ouuta my face!!..ahh!! i felt evem more wanted!! i had a strong connection with mommy dearest!! i lveo her she is soo niceee and beautiful!!!!!!! dhe would tell me all the horrible things that girl would do to jepordize henry and his mom! and i couldnt believe my ears! one word she described taht bitch was psycho!!.. anwyais enough of that we go back home and we hit december!! eveyrhting is goin great! im 3 months and 1 week preggo and loving it!! even though ive been thorwin up everythin i eat! everything is so much better now i hope!!..hehe..! henry and i are happier than ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and thats all that matters!! that we have a healthy relationship!1 this guy cant keep his hands off of me!! even though im gainin a lil more weight!..blah!! he lovess it!!! we have an appt on jan 9 to hear the heartbeat again and to see how the baby is doin and henry took the day off to enjoy the moment wit me =]
tomorro is a big party in my house fro new years eve and i cant wait to party!!!!!1 and eat!!!
enjoy some picturess!
5 comments:
(sorry, I talk and type a lot, lol)
What a beautiful email you sent me, THANKS, I knew you could do it!
Hey, not to sound mean or inconsiderate or anything, only honest, I don't really care too much about your pregnancy, the only reason I even found out you were pregnant is cause I’m like a loser right now staying home all day—SICK (arggg…)! I have A LOT of free time on my hands, but once I get better I wont be spending my time keeping up with you, girl, I live in SPAIN, I have better things to do with my time!!! :) But it's your blog, so you can do whatever you like with it. Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m sure you understand!
I'm just going to respond to a few things...
NOW I finally understand what is going on with you, you said that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there IS such a thing my dear. Perfect relationships exist!! Why don't you think so? I had a perfect relationship with Johnny, it was perfect in EVERY way you can imagine. We had dinners out, went on vacations all the time, we got along so well, we loved each others friends and family, we gave each other space, we both had good jobs, common interests, no substance abuse problems, wrote love letters every day, cooked for each other, exercised together, everything! The only reason it didn't last is because I still have a lot of living and experiencing to do on my own, I’m not ready to settle down, otherwise, I would have stayed in NY and stayed with him and got married (or whatever people are supposed to do these days, lol). If ANY of my men EVER left me alone all night until the next day, they would NEVER see me again, I DO NOT put up with that shit! I deserve MUCH better. And the whole physical, cop calling thing too, that’s a clear sign that things aren’t working. Just because things are better now, they will only get worse once a baby is involved, it is SO much stress, believe me!
And, you can't put someone on lock down that doesn’t want to be on lock. He loved it, he was happy! He knows it and so do you! ☺ And he had his freedom, so it wasn’t that serious. How do you know so much about our relationship anyway? It’s not a normal thing, ya know? It’s also not normal to talk to his family about me, like you said, we broke up so long ago, why am I still being brought up? I never spoke to his fam about his ex’s AND Johnny’s fam never spoke to me about his ex’s, it’s NOT a normal or healthy thing. It’s not good for you to hear about me or think about me so much, you are probably going insane! I would be if I were you!
About his mom, that woman is smart! She knows that you are upset about the relationship that Henry and I had so she was trying to make you feel better by telling you all the bad things about our relationship, which I can agree, are true, ALL OF IT IS PROBABLY TRUE! We went at it A LOT! Lol, (except the whole wanting to fight me when she saw me in the street, that never happened) BUT she left out so much (PLUS—you can only have HATE for someone you truly LOVE—that’s a fact, they are opposite feelings, can’t have one without the other)! We had a lot of fights when me and Henry were in the middle of our relationship! A LOT! Lol. BUT even when we were fighting, she would come and ring my bell at night when she was upset, and talk to me about her past, her mother and father (it’s personal, I don’t want to share it, maybe she’ll tell you one day). She also used to drive me and Henry to the supermarket to go grocery shopping and I went to his family’s house in Staten Island for holidays with her and the fam. ALSO, she paid for Henry to come live with me in Ireland and Western Union-ed him money while he was there, so if she hated me so much, why would she even support our relationship like that and want him to live with me? She thanked me for showing Henry a better life all the time, and so did his grandmother! I don’t tell you this to hurt you, I hope it doesn’t upset you, you said you don’t care anymore, so that’s why I feel free to write this, otherwise I wouldn’t, I never told you this kind of stuff in the past cause I knew it would upset you, so now it’s ok, right? You said it yourself.
Anyway, she loved me for taking care of him and showing him the world! ← her words not mine.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re bonding with the fam. It’s important, especially since you’re not right across the street, you cant have them come over all the time and visit, ya know? It’s harder.
I do have to tell Henry something, and I’ve known all along that you have ALL his passwords to emails and stuff (shhhh… don’t tell anyone that I told you that I know this, I was supposed to pretend like I didn’t know and write him like normal, lol, but I think it’s ok that you know now.) So maybe me and him can speak by phone real fast since you don’t care? I just have one thing to say, nothing serious, but VERY important—don’t worry, I’m not trying to steal him away, lol (I know thats the first thought that comes to your mind, it’s ok, it’s natural I guess.). Let him know. And THANKS for being so mature about all this. It’s really a side of you that I’ve never experienced before.
Bueno, be well cutie.
Xo.
PS-- I'm getting better, so I prob be available for another day or so, k?
hey, I just wrote you back and it got deleted some how. argggg... so I'll write a shortened version.
I was not mad at YOU when you and Henry got together, it had nothing to do with YOU, the problem was that Henry was calling me everyday telling me how much he loved me and missed me and wanted me back. For the first 6 months I was with Johnny he would do this. He would call my friends to talk about me, call my family, write me letters, etc. Then come to find out he moved to NY to be with someone (it had nothing to do with YOU, in my eyes you are not special and have nothing to offer him, anyone can open their legs, have someone's baby and stay home on their asses all day, sabes?-- sorry, I am blunt, but you understand where I'm goign with this) The thing is, he NEVER told me he had a girl, his FAMILY NEVER TOLD ME either. I continued to talk to them and they NEVER brought you up (thats another reason I find it hard to understand why they are talking about ME when they NEVER even mentioned YOU). I found out through myspace, and of course I was mad, he was still in love with me and starting a new relationship, of course it wasn't going to work, it was selfish of him to do that to you, PLUS, I think he was embarrassed cause he never told me. What it comes down to is this: he was mad at me for being with Johnny when to him, I should have still been with him and made it work, THEN he turns around while he is saying all this to me and moves to NY. SO IM THINKING-- while he is calling me from PA and NC telling me how much he loves me and misses me, he must have been talking to you, right? There must have been something that happened before he moved, so he was lying to me right there, he always said I was the only one that will EVER be important in his life, then he meets you and hides you from me. hmm... strange, no?
Thats all, it had nothing to do with YOU, just him being sneaky, sabes? So if you want to think I'm a bitch because of that, thats on you, you have to look at WHY I got mad, I'm sure you would too if you were me.
oh yeah, and I KNOW Henry will be happy to hear from me (he may not act like that with you, naturally cause you would get mad), and it will give him an opportunity to tell me all the things that you are telling me, in a way, it'll be good for your relationship, he can prove to you how loyal he is and how much he doesn't love me anymore, right? send me his number and I'll give him a quick buzz. I have something I've been meaning to tell him for a while!
OK, I dont have time to write anymore, I'm HEALTHY today, YAY! Time to spend the rest of my time here, running, exploring, eating, dancing, drinking, traveling, going out with friends, working, roller blading, swimming, going to the beach etc!
Sorry I didn't get a chance to respond to it all. We'll talk soon, I'll be busy for some time now. I have a lot of friends coming to visit in the next two months. Sorry not to be able to give you the attention you want.
love love love
xo
chris
hey doll, I have some friends over, so I'll make this quick.
OF COURSE I spoke to him in dec & Jan, how many times do I have to tell you this? We spoke throughout Dec and in Jan he wished me and my fam a happy new year! (which I'm thankful for cause I had a great year, lol).
OK, I'll call his friend to get in contact with him then. Thanks for the info.
xo.
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